"Self-Confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." Well said Samuel Johnson!
I was working with my client this week and we have been discussing self-confidence. She's not the first client that I've had that discovers that her self-confidence is not as high as it should be.
People always come to me with weight issues. They say they need help figuring out what to eat and what portions to have, and yes, most of you do need guidance on these topics but why can't you stick with it. Online there are a ton of how-to's but why don't they work? They don't work because they don't connect you with the underlying issues. The reasons you fall short of your goals of losing weight, gaining the respect you want, accomplishing the goals you set out to do, etc. is because they don't teach you AND building your confidence. That's my sweet spot in coaching.
A perfect quote from Austin Powers fits here, "I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat." How many of us can relate to this quote? It's so much easier to eat our sadness, guilt, and failure, than to deal with it.
So, what can you do to build your confidence? I'm glad you asked.
1. Educate yourself. There are so many books and podcasts out there that can help build your confidence and reassure you that you are doing a great job or help you do a better job. (email me if you need a good book recommendation or podcast)
2. Create Visuals. Instead of beating yourself up on what you haven't accomplished, create a vision board, post-its on a mirror, or checklist that shows you what your daily goals are. Examples: eat clean, minimize your house, have fun with the kids, be outside more, connect with a friend. Your vision board can be really big goals like 'save to go to Ireland', but I find placing goals like 'save $5 a week' a better way to achieve the big goal. Baby steps get you where you want to go.
3. Start telling yourself "I Love You" and other encouraging words. Hearing loving words out loud will set you up for a positive and confident day.
Growing up, my mom used to always say how she didn't look good in her outfits, her hair was a mess, etc. (My mom is downright gorgeous by the way!) but hearing this all the time was very confusing, what is beauty then? She told us that her mom also did the same thing. Well, I made a promise to myself, after years of low self-confidence (I struggled with bulimia for a while after high school) that I wouldn't do this to myself anymore. I would stop the cycle of mom to daughter low confidence. I do mess up from time to time, but my kiddos are a good reminder to not say negative thought about myself. I am their model, they hear everything I say and a lot of the time they copy my actions and words. So if you are not convinced yet on saying "I Love You" to yourself, do it for your kiddos. They deserve to love themselves for the way they were made to be.
4. Ask the Lord for help, “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him." Jeremiah 17:7 He doesn't make mistakes, He made you the way you are for a reason. We just need to trust in His plan and be proud you are apart of it. Pray for strength when you are failing, struggling or just need motivation. If you need more support with prayer, please connect with me, I would love to help or pray for you.
These are simple steps you can start incorporating into your life right now, so don't waste a minute, Get Started!